Spring Feelings

Sometimes, when I hear children screaming and playing outside on playgrounds, my womb feels hollow. The spring breeze and sunshine makes me feel like I should have planted seeds. Seeds of my own. So I can see them sprout. Sprout and blossom into something beautiful. And then I realize, I am enough. I am that seed, that is forever blossoming and I’m beautiful.


Essence: Part One

As I stood in line at a Dunkin Donuts inside of Penn Station, squinting my eyes and struggling to read the menu and make a decision on an iced coffee drink, I noticed it. The April 2014 issue of Essence Magazine, that I Instagramed four days ago with Nia Long on the cover. I darted out of line, figuring that I didn’t need the coffee drink anyway and I’d treat myself to the mag instead. While waiting at the register of the news stand, I remembered that just 24 hours ago I was at Essence. No, not to interview for some writing position, but at a casting call to model. An associate of mine had Facebook messaged me Essence’s quest to find beautiful women with locs. After a myriad of emails that had bounced back, my message with my photograph had finally went through. I figured it wouldn’t be any harm in submitting myself, after all I had always gotten great compliments on my hair. Weeks went by and the submission was forgotten.

“Hi Glennisha ,We have received your photos and would like to know the following info. We will be reviewing this information shortly and if you are selected our shoot is…,” a representative from Essence’s photo department had written to me in email last week.

When I received the email I was ecstatic. I honestly didn’t think that out of all of the submissions, I would be contacted. I didn’t even send them a professional photo. I sent them a simple picture of me, but one that happened to be my favorite. I was bare faced sitting in Union Square Park with a pink flower, that an ex-lover had placed in between my ear. It was a sunny day and I had just gotten off work…After receiving the email, replying and being told to show up for a casting call, I immediately called my mother, sharing the exciting news. My diet was currently terrible. I had been consuming any and everything. So I figured I’d try to my best to eat healthy and exercise. The least I could do was attempt to rid my belly of the “pop” within the next week, if it was at all possible.
The morning of the casting call, I had risen at 5am to re-twist and style my hair because I was entirely too exhausted to do so the night before. And I never succeed at staying up all night doing anything. Rising early to conquer things just works much better for me. I decorated my eyes with simple earth tone colors and eyeliner and painted my lips with my favorite “stay all day” liquid lipstick by Stila. I wasn’t really sure what to wear. I wanted to be stylish, but remain myself. And quiet as it’s kept, I’ve never given a fuck about fashion. I ended up opting for my favorite pair of faux black leather pants, my favorite tan and black striped shirt that revealed my shoulders and my favorite blue jean vest. Mixed and matched, I’m sure Instagram has seen all three a handful of times. Initially, I was going to wear my black and gold Jeffrey Campbell sneaker heels, but then I remembered my walk to Fulton Street. So I ended up wearing a pair of cheetah print deflex comfort flats, that I had purchased to rock on my way to my birthday party last year, in case I’d be taking the train. I’m currently laughing typing this because it just goes to show how much fashion and beauty sense I have. I mean, I fucking showed up to a casting call in flats and without foundation on my face…